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Just to see you smile…

Happy Monday ya’all. Another week in the making so we need to make the best of it… Last night was the start of a great week for me. It’s crazy how seeing something can really brighten your day, better yet make your day, or for in this instance my week….

Seriously, nothing is more contagious than a smile… (we have all heard that line) and this particular smile makes my skin crawl…. To know what this individual has been through the past 7 years of his life makes me sad, but where God has him now makes me hopeful for his future. He is kind, he is brave, he is strong, he is hardworking, and he is a child of God. He has a future, a good good future. For I don’t know what the future brings for him, I just know God doesn’t make mistakes and he is going to see him through. Life is tough, and sometimes others have it rougher than you ever thought.. some of us don’t really know what a struggle is compared to others… listening to his story I was shocked at some of the things I heard… and he said to me very bluntly “Callie you are blessed, you don’t know what being this low feels like, you don’t know what low is” I was left speechless after our convo…which if you know me, that’s rare… Callie being speechless, naw….where some of us worry about money, some worry if they are going to have food on the table…and then some worry about if their life is good enough for this earth…our struggles are different, but one thing that we can all have that can remain the same is our faith. I talk about faith a lot in my posts, but faith is what makes us…. faith is our fuel that keeps a fire burning within us.. if we don’t have faith we have nothing… we are just a body going through the motions with out any emotions! we have no power, strength, or endurance… we need not only faith in God, but faith in ourselves… 

We are all worthy of life. No life is any less important than another. God made us…. we have purpose… our lives are meaningful. Your purpose might be smaller than others, but you still have in fact have a purpose…

Have you ever thought about what your purpose is???? 

As I age, I see my purpose change and transform throughout my life… in high school I always felt my purpose was to help children, help them succeed, help them grow, and help them learn. Then in college it was to brighten people’s day. Now, it is to show love to my brother… today my purpose is to show love to someone that doesn’t feel like he is deserving of it… my mission today is to let my brother know he is indeed loved….. your purpose can change, your life can change, people around you can change, but you can adapt with the change and create a new purpose… having faith allows you to have purpose…. faith fuels the purpose, faith gives us the endarance to pursue our purpose. 

If you are searching for purpose, pray! Pray that God gives you something to show you where he needs and wants you to be. He will lead your way… allow your faith to be bigger today than it was yesterday! 

I have all the faith in the world for you… and God does too. But the real question is, “Do you?” 
With love <3, 

Callie

Mirror mirror on the wall… 

Man, it has been way to long since I have wrote… I feel like this is my venting session, and I might need you readers more than you need me. Today as I am strolling through Facebook I see so much negativity. A particular story touched me …

When looking at others I do not automatically see their flaws, unless for some reason they have a huge booger hanging out their nose or something gross in that nature…🤦🏼‍♀️ I know, but come on you know we have all been there… That’s an awkward moment to tell someone that there is a booger hanging from their face, right? (Yuck!) Anyways… the point I am trying to make is that when looking at others I do not see the worst, I see just that individual as whole… I don’t see every single wrinkle, or their weight number, or how many gray hairs they have….but when looking at myself I see the worst… I look at myself almost as if I am looking under a magnifying glass…

We are our own worst critic. We seem to judge ourselves probably more than others judge us. I catch myself looking in the mirror wishing that this was gone, or I could cover up that… and don’t even make me go into the stretch mark venting… I love my baby, but dang did he do a number on my body…

People do not see what you see, you dig deeper into your roots than they do. I have a scar from a dirt bike wreck when I was in the third grade…. its a pretty good size on my leg, no one has ever mentioned it. I have stretch marks on my booty and my boobs are deflated…. big time and no one makes comments to me about them….. (or if they do they are not to me)

My message today is quit being so hard on yourself. So what you are not the size you were in high school, or you don’t fit in the jeans you had before you were prego. I am all about having a healthy lifestyle, but putting yourself down will not give you motivation people… and if anyone tells you it does their full of shit… excuse my language… but it’s true… I am going to tell you right now when I think about my weight… I think about what candy bar I am going to eat next… Keep a positive attitude…. make changes in your life because you want to and don’t take what you think to heart… Allow yourself to have flaws, and love them. Because they are what makes you, well you! Every scar has a story, and guess what? It’s your story and if you feel like telling it someone, you will. Be proud of who you are. Own who you are.Sometimes the most imperfect things in life tend to be the best things….

Keep diggin! 

With Love ❤️, 

Callie 

 

1-800-273-8255

“Your worlds not falling apart it’s falling into place”

– Casting Crowns

 

Man, this week has taken a toll on my heart. I don’t believe I have ever been so sad in my 25 years of life. I thought life was hard up until this week, God gave me a new understanding that what I was going through before is nothing compared to what I am going though now…. On July 13, I received a phone call that dropped me to my knees. A phone call you never want to receive, especially when you are at work not prepared to take the call. God tested my patience, my ability to process, and my faith. Not having any idea if he was dead or alive.

Nathan is a huge part of me, everything that he is, I am. The same blood runs through me that runs through him. He might be the biggest headache, but he is a headache I do not want to live without, and that day I thought living without him was something I would have to do. Continuing this life without my little brother, or as I call him “my bubby”. Notice how I put a “MY” in front of it. I show ownership in this imperfectly perfect human, most people see trouble, but I still see “my bubby”, a kind, sensitive, chubby teenager, with a speech impediment. <He had the cutest voice> I see a lost soul that is searching for a place to call home. When I so badly want to be his “HOME”, he is constantly lost, trying to find this place of comfort that is non-existing.

He has lost all trust in his family; he has lost a connection with me, his sister that in the past has proved that I would always be there. I feel guilt with what has happened because I should have tried harder to keep the relationship intact, but I allowed an outside source to come in between my brother’s and I’s relationship. This outside source has created a monster. It has turned a boy into an angered adult that is always on edge, and on July 13, was pushed over that edge mentally. Is it this entirely the outside sources fault? The answer to that is “no”, as much as I want someone other than my brother to blame, he had a choice. Keep in mind, depression is an illness, an illness that is not easily cured; it takes a lot of love, sometimes drugs, and removing yourself from the situation.

I had a bad feeling the prior Monday before his accident; I actually had the thought “What if he does something stupid, what if he commits suicide?” I believe that was God’s message to me to contact my brother, but I didn’t. I will forever feel guilty for not reaching out to him.

Lesson to self: When God gives you a gut feeling, go with it…. That day I didn’t and it almost costed my brother his life.

Once again, we are not perfect, we never will be. Judging someone else’s actions is easy, but when you put yourself in their shoes sometimes you have a better understanding of how they are feeling.

Young love is beautiful even in the worst ways. Letting go of something you know is hard. However, by doing so you are allowing a better part of yourself show. You are also giving yourself a better life. I pray that my brother will understand that sometimes you have to make choices in life that means letting go of something you desperately love and want for yourself. Although, you believe staying is the right thing, leaving is the better choice. There is no wrong in leaving a situation that is harmful to yourself and others.

I know this blog post is not the happiest thing you have read, but I hope it allows you to think about choices that you need to make in your own life to better yourself. Maybe it is not to this extreme, but do not allow yourself to be in a bad relationship, set yourself free from the abuse. God gave you the ability to make choices, so make sure you make the right ones.

Nathan is not completely innocent in this whole relationship; it takes two to have one, but it only takes one to walk away and end it. I hope with this life experience Nathan has learned some valuable lessons to help him figure out choices he needs to make to better his life for himself and his children.

Thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers through this difficult time. I praise God, for sending a guardian angel to care for my brother that day. God allowed my brother to have a second chance at making his life the best that it can be.

 

The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.

                                                                                                                                – Proverbs 16:9

 

With Love,

Callie ❤

 

Don’t Talk, LISTEN!

When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

  •  Psalms 34:17-18

 

We all have struggles, some larger than others, some that bring us to our breaking point where we tend to lose our faith. I hate to say this, but I have questioned God, wondering if he is truly listening and just failing to deliver me out of my problems. When you come to this point in your life where you are questioning your faith, you need to have good people to pull you back into God’s loving arms and give you the strength to keep praying even when you have no ounce of faith left. Sometimes those people need to pray for you because you cannot do it yourself. I was there just a little time ago, down on my luck, questioning my God’s intentions. I needed a friend to get me out of that state of mind and bring me back to trusting in my faith. Also, trusting that God has a plan for me, even if I can’t see it. This friend gave me the understanding through all of these trials God has something for me to take away from them. Not gonna lie, I have no idea what he wanted me to take away from the crap that I was knee deep in. My life was a complete mess. Part of it my fault, the other part not so much. In the end, I needed God more than I needed anyone. I hate being known as a bible pusher and one might say, “This is an unwanted Christian lecture” but I assure you there is never a time that I will not speak up and own that “I am a Christian” and if it is unwanted sorry- not sorry. Sometimes the truth hurts; sometimes hearing the truth sets us free, sometimes just sometimes, you might not want to hear something, but after you hear it you begin to understand someone else perspective on things. At this point in my life, I needed to hear what my friend had to say. My quick phone call to her to vent turned into a 2-hour conversation. Did I want to hear everything she had to say? Umm NO! , but I listened and gained so much from that conversation. She helped me gain my faith back, she allowed me to see all the positive things because the negatives were drowning me, and she told me to pray! That is what I needed to hear! PRAY…. PRAY CALLIE…. GIVE YOUR FAITH TO GOD…. Her words not mine, and that exactly what I did. I prayed and cried…and cried… than I caught myself asking for forgiveness to my God because I lost faith in him. Admitting your wrong is hard, but God is so forgiving and he loves me through all of my flaws. At the end of the day, I know he is listening to my every word.

Allow yourself to listen to others, respect what they have to say. You don’t always have to agree, but you can choose to love them through the disagreements.

I hope everyone has a great weekend packed full of fun. Until next week, keep diggin your roots…

 

Note:

I recently took a training at work about being a good listener. You get more out of listening than you will ever get out of talking. So be open to hear things you might not want to hear, it could be your biggest blessing.

 

With Love,

Callie ❤

Saving Grace…

Warning: This might piss some people off… Sorry in Advance…

 

We have all been there.

Where we feel lost and alone.

Like no one in the world truly cares about you.

 

You catch yourself asking crazy questions as if you are not even worthy of your own answer. Being in a dark place is not for the weak. Some will say, “Oh, she is just feeling sorry for herself.”, but the truth is YOU put her there. YOU put her in that deep dark, state of mind, from your own self-pity. Putting her down to make yourself feel better, now that’s friendship, right?

“Why would she hate me, is it jealousy?” Then answering that question with this answer, “Why would she be jealous of me?”

Wishing I could take my 25-year-old self now and give my 16-year-old self than advice. The things that I would tell myself.

The lessons learned and the tears shed, made me WHO I AM today, but it was hell getting here.

The reasoning behind this blog post is not to let you in on a dark part of my life, but to give you the brighter side of it. Yes, I had suicidal thoughts as a teenager. I wore a rubber band around my wrist to inflict pain instead of doing the alternative, cutting. Those who know me to my roots are the ones that are worthy of that story. (You know who you are) It’s not something I am proud of, but I can say I am here to tell you I overcame that obstacle, and to me…. that’s strength.

Getting out of that state of mind was not easy, but it is doable.

And to do it…The first step is to CHANGE YOUR LIFE!!

That’s right, you heard me, change your life girl.

Change your friends. (If this is happening, they were not really your friends in the first place) And well… that’s when I found my KALEY …my saving grace.

Change your way of doing things. Get out of your “normal”, find things that are new and exciting.

Change your attitude. This was by far the hardest step for me. People thought I was a bitch. Not something, I am proud of being, but I acted rude and hateful because I felt like I always had to protect myself. After being put down and talked about all the time, the inner bitch comes out, believe me!!!!

Change yourself. Because no one is going to change them. (Trust me, I prayed for this to happen) You can only control you.

Not everyone is going to be just like me. These are the things I had to do to overcome my challenges. It was harder than anything I ever had to do. I had been friends with the same group of people since I was in the 3rd grade and to give them up when I was a sophomore in high school was difficult, but giving them up was the best decision because after I got over the hurt, moving forward never felt better.

I WAS FREE!

It wasn’t all of them that I hated, mainly just one.

How can a teenage girl have so much power? So much power for others to join in her torture. False rumors, lies, and deceitfulness. Sad thing is it don’t stop there. Turning friends on each other and making our lives a game. Believe me we all fell for your stunts a time or two. Some of us still do, but not me. One person can cause everything to crumble, just one. MIND BLOWN!

I hope when people read this they will see that just because a life seems perfect, it has its flaws. Everything has its flaws; you just have to dig deep into the roots to find them. Always be careful what you say and do to people because you might not know what that person is going through and you could be that ONE.

 

It only takes one.

 

With Love, ❤

Callie McGuire

Grown up :(

There is a time in life when your babies grow up to be cowboys…… and this Momma don’t like it… but at the same time I am so happy that he is living his life to the fullest and having fun while doing so. 

Last night Kasen had is first official friend over that was not family to stay the night… I was so nervous for my child and so was the mom of the boy that stayed with Kasen. (God bless her, I think if my son stayed there I might of shed a few tears) Kasen handled himself like a big kid and acted amazing, he also had a great time with his new friend. If you don’t know my son, he is an only child. When you have an only child and some of you Mom’s out there do, you will understand they are different. It’s a different, you as a parent are use to, but other people might think your kid is a brat. Kasen doesn’t have to share, and rarely wants for anything. It’s not because we spoil him, he just has everyone’s attention and doesn’t have to share it. He also tends to get what he asks for, but in our case the kid never asks for anything (besides cottage cheese and caprisuns) which I can handle. Our world revolves around one kid, and he is at the age where we think he needs to learn life skills before he starts school, and last night really let me see that he is learning to get along with others, share, and be polite. I am starting to think we may have raised him right…. Kuddos to Me and my hubby! We have a great kid, he is smart, energetic, has a personality that kills, and well…. just down right adorable… (got that from his momma) 

I am so thankful God allowed me to be his mother, I don’t think he could have picked a more perfect kid for Casey and I. I can not wait to see so many more memories he makes. As I think of him growing up, and as much as I hate to think it…. if he never grew  I wouldn’t have all the memories I have today… Good, bad, and funny. Love your kids, tell them everyday how proud you are of them, how they are perfect, and smart… because if a kid thinks he is all of those things… then he will be all of those things… 

God bless,

Callie ❤ 

Who I Am <3

Who I Am…

I am Christy Dawn Bryant Henderson and Jonathan Wayne Peetoom’s daughter. I am 25 and fly. My number one in my life is Kasen, my now 3-year-old son.

I am athletic, I love to play basketball. I like to play catch in the front lawn on a pretty day. I am full of energy and laughter. Smiles make me happy. I love to help. I like knowing in my heart that God has worked through me to help someone.

I am that hometown girl that everyone knows. I am proud of where I came from. I am accepting of how I was raised. I believe that life is only as perfect as YOU want to make it.

I am someone that does not like hurting people. I will suffer pain before I allow anyone else to experience it.

I am a caretaker. I am a giver.

I love music. I like finding songs that relate to my life and play them over and over again.

When people talk I weirdly hear lyrics to songs, but it makes their conversation so much more than just words.

I live to dig deep into peoples roots, so I understand them.

I love to dance. I love dancing in the kitchen while cooking. I love dancing with my son in the living room.

I am dramatic, bubbly, adventurous, and unpredictable. I keep people on their toes. I am too much to take in at times.

I love DIY projects, but I have no patience for them.

I love being outside. Fall is my favorite season.

I come from divorced parents, I never had a close family, so that is a dream of mine. To be so close to my little family that we would rather be with each other than anyone else.

My dream… Graduate college (DONE)… be the best mother I can be (Work in progress)…. be a wife that is cherished…. Become closer to God…. And when I Die go to heaven and be able to see my Grandma again…

Let my VOICE be heard

Today I want to put a hold on my journey because in life when you take two steps forward, you will in turn somehow take three steps back. It sucks… I know firsthand. It was laid upon my heart to write this blog post to give awareness on how our world is today.

I want to first state that life is not fair, unfortunately, we do not live in a fairy tale; even the best life has its difficulties. If you are one that says you have a perfect life….girl, I know you lyin! Life is the toughest journey to go through, but God did not make it easy for a reason, he wants you to seek him and seek the good in the world to get to the other side, which is everlasting life, free from the hate world we live in today.

Life is what YOU make it. Surround yourself with people who truly deserve to be in your presence, but as I say this, we tend to surround ourselves with normalcy; we want to stay in our comfort zone, but the question you have to ask yourself is, Are you comfortable?

I want to take a minute to explain a few things to you, people are going to be mean, people are going to say things about you that are not true, people are going to have words that hurt, but you can have something better, the armor of God to protect you.

I do not know if you know my back-story, but I come from divorce parents that were always in and out of court. This had a terrible effect on my life. Through it all, I had to learn to protect myself, and at that age, all I had was my voice. Well, now I struggle with my voice getting me into trouble. It is a struggle in my marriage, in my friendships, and my work environment. I tend to say what I feel without filtering it. I know sometimes it can hurt the ones I love, and I want to apologize. However, something I will not apologize for is standing up for myself and what is right. The truth hurts sometimes, and when people are going to be mean, say hurtful things, things that are not true, I AM GOING TO USE MY VOICE, and I will not allow someone to make me feel guilty for doing so.

I have learned the hard way there is only two people in this world that you can truly count on, and that is yourself and God. Everyone else in your corner is just a bonus, because they do not have to be there, but if they are, be thankful.

Do something today to make someone feel important. Go out of your way and compliment someone, because your positive words will go a long way. Also, always remember you do not know what the person next to you is going through so be compassionate of others and their feelings.

                                                                                                With Love,

                                                                                              Callie ❤

P.S.

Brit thanks for the inspiration on this blog post 🙂

Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.

– Ephesians 6:11

735 N Forman St.

We will first begin my journey at Craig General Hospital. Dr. A delivered me into the world at 10:58 AM, on August 20, 1991. I think about this man often, although he has never made a direct impact on my life, he has indeed made an impact. He watched me take my first breath of life. He was there for my first cry. (That is a big moment if you ask me) He was there for that moment of embrace from my mother. He was the very first person to care for me, hold me, and wipe tears from my eyes. If that is not a big deal to someone, I do not know what is. I often wonder what his exact thoughts were when he first laid eyes on me. People!!!!! He was the first person to see what I looked like. I hope I did not have an awful cone head, no selfies please. :/

I know you are probably wondering why I am even talking about this man. This man helped my mother bring me into this world, to keep me safe, and allow me to live life. He was part of God’s plan for me to be here on earth. Sometimes I see this man and his wife at Walmart, the local café, or at the gas station. He probably has no idea who I am, but what is important, I know who he is. I have a lot of respect for this man I only encountered for a few short minutes, but those minutes were probably the most important minutes of my life.

Fun fact: My mom’s whole pregnancy she was told she was having a boy. To a BIG surprise, I was a girl! She had no clothes for me, that next morning Dr. A brought my mom a gift. It was two outfits for me.

(DR. A was also the first person to buy me clothes)

I have a son, and I will never forget the day he was born. When that doctor handed over my baby boy to me the world was still, quiet, and at peace. We tend to forget the people that help us in life. They blend in with the problems or the excitement going on, but they make up whom we are. I urge you to remember the “people” that make you who you are. Those “people” probably love you the most.

 

With love,

Callie

“And the child grew and became strong in spirit, filled with wisdom: and the grace of God was upon him.”

~ Luke 2:40

 

Metanoia

 

It is crazy how things turn out. You find the reality in the world that nothing… I mean nothing is “perfect”, as much as we want to act and pretend that it is. The truth is we are all “broken” people trying to live and survive in a “broken” world.

I come from small town rumors, mean girls, divorced parents, sibling rivalries, and trying to fit in when you do not quite seem to fit. Acceptance is what we as humans seek, we want to feel loved and wanted, and when we do not feel that, we tend to get insecure about who we are. From being the best athlete, smartest one in the class, teacher’s pet, to the girl dating the cutest guy in the school. We always want better, or what everyone else has.

Everyone talks about being different, but let’s face it, we all want to be the same, because if we are the same, we will be accepted, when you are different you give people something to talk about.

I want to give you readers an insight of WHO I AM. I am NOT the best athlete, I do NOT have the perfect family dynamic, and I definitely was NOT the smartest person in my class. I am just Callie, plain ol’ Callie, and to be honest I love the person that I am, but it took a while for me to get to this place of acceptance.

Finding God is what led me in the right direction to find my purpose.

I want to take you on a time line of my life… People, places, and events that make me, well ME! Each week you will see how I grew up, and how I changed throughout my life. You are going to see exactly what it took to get me where I am today.

Life is not easy, but it can be fun!

Enjoy my journey.

                                                                   With Love,

                                                                   Callie

“Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get”

~ Forrest Gump