Saving Grace…

Warning: This might piss some people off… Sorry in Advance…

 

We have all been there.

Where we feel lost and alone.

Like no one in the world truly cares about you.

 

You catch yourself asking crazy questions as if you are not even worthy of your own answer. Being in a dark place is not for the weak. Some will say, “Oh, she is just feeling sorry for herself.”, but the truth is YOU put her there. YOU put her in that deep dark, state of mind, from your own self-pity. Putting her down to make yourself feel better, now that’s friendship, right?

“Why would she hate me, is it jealousy?” Then answering that question with this answer, “Why would she be jealous of me?”

Wishing I could take my 25-year-old self now and give my 16-year-old self than advice. The things that I would tell myself.

The lessons learned and the tears shed, made me WHO I AM today, but it was hell getting here.

The reasoning behind this blog post is not to let you in on a dark part of my life, but to give you the brighter side of it. Yes, I had suicidal thoughts as a teenager. I wore a rubber band around my wrist to inflict pain instead of doing the alternative, cutting. Those who know me to my roots are the ones that are worthy of that story. (You know who you are) It’s not something I am proud of, but I can say I am here to tell you I overcame that obstacle, and to me…. that’s strength.

Getting out of that state of mind was not easy, but it is doable.

And to do it…The first step is to CHANGE YOUR LIFE!!

That’s right, you heard me, change your life girl.

Change your friends. (If this is happening, they were not really your friends in the first place) And well… that’s when I found my KALEY …my saving grace.

Change your way of doing things. Get out of your “normal”, find things that are new and exciting.

Change your attitude. This was by far the hardest step for me. People thought I was a bitch. Not something, I am proud of being, but I acted rude and hateful because I felt like I always had to protect myself. After being put down and talked about all the time, the inner bitch comes out, believe me!!!!

Change yourself. Because no one is going to change them. (Trust me, I prayed for this to happen) You can only control you.

Not everyone is going to be just like me. These are the things I had to do to overcome my challenges. It was harder than anything I ever had to do. I had been friends with the same group of people since I was in the 3rd grade and to give them up when I was a sophomore in high school was difficult, but giving them up was the best decision because after I got over the hurt, moving forward never felt better.

I WAS FREE!

It wasn’t all of them that I hated, mainly just one.

How can a teenage girl have so much power? So much power for others to join in her torture. False rumors, lies, and deceitfulness. Sad thing is it don’t stop there. Turning friends on each other and making our lives a game. Believe me we all fell for your stunts a time or two. Some of us still do, but not me. One person can cause everything to crumble, just one. MIND BLOWN!

I hope when people read this they will see that just because a life seems perfect, it has its flaws. Everything has its flaws; you just have to dig deep into the roots to find them. Always be careful what you say and do to people because you might not know what that person is going through and you could be that ONE.

 

It only takes one.

 

With Love, ❤

Callie McGuire

Grown up :(

There is a time in life when your babies grow up to be cowboys…… and this Momma don’t like it… but at the same time I am so happy that he is living his life to the fullest and having fun while doing so. 

Last night Kasen had is first official friend over that was not family to stay the night… I was so nervous for my child and so was the mom of the boy that stayed with Kasen. (God bless her, I think if my son stayed there I might of shed a few tears) Kasen handled himself like a big kid and acted amazing, he also had a great time with his new friend. If you don’t know my son, he is an only child. When you have an only child and some of you Mom’s out there do, you will understand they are different. It’s a different, you as a parent are use to, but other people might think your kid is a brat. Kasen doesn’t have to share, and rarely wants for anything. It’s not because we spoil him, he just has everyone’s attention and doesn’t have to share it. He also tends to get what he asks for, but in our case the kid never asks for anything (besides cottage cheese and caprisuns) which I can handle. Our world revolves around one kid, and he is at the age where we think he needs to learn life skills before he starts school, and last night really let me see that he is learning to get along with others, share, and be polite. I am starting to think we may have raised him right…. Kuddos to Me and my hubby! We have a great kid, he is smart, energetic, has a personality that kills, and well…. just down right adorable… (got that from his momma) 

I am so thankful God allowed me to be his mother, I don’t think he could have picked a more perfect kid for Casey and I. I can not wait to see so many more memories he makes. As I think of him growing up, and as much as I hate to think it…. if he never grew  I wouldn’t have all the memories I have today… Good, bad, and funny. Love your kids, tell them everyday how proud you are of them, how they are perfect, and smart… because if a kid thinks he is all of those things… then he will be all of those things… 

God bless,

Callie ❤